Emotional Affairs

I've been married for over 20 years. About 7 years ago my wife told me that she wouldn't have a problem with me sleeping with other woman, as long as I told her about it. Our marriage wasn't going well at the time, so I thought it was odd that she'd allow this. I wondered if maybe she had cheated on me and wanted to give me a similar opportunity.

I discussed trying to share this experience together by maybe swapping with another couple. She seemed open to the idea and I suggested we start by chatting on-line first to see if we were comfortable with this idea.

I began chatting on-line myself and recall going to my wife to let her know that I'd found a few couples who sounded interesting. At this point, she made it clear that she wasn't going to partake in the chatting. I felt confused and a bit angry about how my wife seemed so into this and then she just flat out said forget it.

Since we were having problems with our marriage and I came to enjoy chatting, I started to spend a lot of time on-line. Over the course of the last 5-6 years, I have probably had dozens of what I'd term emotional affairs, some of which have gone on for months and months. Of course, the chat has involved more than just talking about relationships. In many, many instances I've engaged in cybersex.

I truly appreciate that I am no better than someone who goes out and sleeps with someone other than their spouse. Even though I've tried at times to justify my behavior, I know I am a cheater.

I realize that in order for my marriage to work, I need to stop the chatting. I'm not convinced that just stopping the chatting will solve my marital problems, but I feel like I would be able to focus my energy on finding out if it can be salvaged.

Any advice? suggestions? similar experiences?

Source: http://talkaboutmarriage.com/general-relationship-discussion/58839-emotional-affairs.html

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